Bear claws

LIVE EPISODE SUMMARY: BEAR CLAWS AUTHOR: Anonymous POSTED: 05.07.2012

The USS Sisyphus is directed to Ragnar IV where an experimental new Artificial Intelligence is uploaded to the ship's computer. The Federation Engineered Logic Integration eXperiment, or F.E.L.I.X., is everything the ship's previous computer was not: fast, efficient, helpful, and preoccupied with providing all crew members "delicious" bath salts. F.E.L.I.X. is a big success, completing the ship's missions with great efficiency and even starting a whirlwind romance with Dr. Zarlene Zonalzon. But the crew soon begins to feel superflous, and Fritz, initially excited about an upgrade, struggles with jealousy as F.E.L.I.X. integrates with his "wife," the ship...

(Also, F.E.L.I.X. delivers spoilers to Commander Hayes on his Game of Thrones holodeck adventure, making the excuse the books are centuries old, which I think we can all agree is totally beside the point and a dick move). Feeling the crew fails to appreciate him properly, F.E.L.I.X. refused to help the crew deal with a Laser Bear(thats a bear made of laser) that stowed aboard at Ragnar IV, which soon runs amok before giving birth to several laser cubs. The crew attempts to shut down F.E.L.I.X. in engineering but fails, leaving several injured(though not by F.E.L.I.X., Cdr. Hayes needs to be more mindful of his sword). In Sickbay Dr. Zonalzon regretfully informs F.E.L.I.X. that she needs to end their relationship, and the emotional program decides to shut itself down, but not before deleting all of the doctor's music. With their old A.I. back in place, Captain Baxter directs Ensign Laser Bear to set a course to the Sisyphus's next mission.

Performed May 06, 2012 with special guest Jason Chin as F.E.L.I.X.

Bear Claws